Sales Pitch for the Deflated

Psst. You there...!

Forget the quick-fix lordly leaping.

You'll bounce back to earth, defeated, all too quickly.

I have a better method.

Muffle the outer world.

Spritz on l'essence d'esprit.

Suck in a load of malarky as light as a feather.

Grin a knowing/gnashing smile in the face of prickly fears.
Fill your innards with big, deep breaths of hot, sweet smellin' aire.
And take a trusting step off into the future.

You'll be floating before you know it.